The Big Blue Frog King
Disclaimers: This is a combination of "The Frog King" by the Brothers
and "I'm in Love with a Big Blue Frog" by Leslie Braunstein, recorded
Peter Paul & Mary. All other disclaimers apply. I make no money off
this, it's only for fun. There's enough seriousness in many of my
stories, I wanted to do a bit of goofiness with this one. So forgive
the strange little liberties.
Fandom: SeaQuest - 2nd Season
Rating: PG (I don' t do slash, and I write clean)
Archives: TedTalk, The Bookcase, all others, check first
I'm In Love With A Big Blue Frog
(Leslie Braunstein/Peter, Paul, and Mary)
I'm in love with a big blue frog,
A big blue frog love me
It's not as bad as it appears
He wears glasses and he's six foot three
Well I'm not worried about our kids,
I know they'll turn out neat.
They'll be great lookin' `cause they'll have my face,
Great swimmers `cause they'll have his feet.
Well I'm in love with a big blue frog,
A big blue frog loves me.
He's not as bad as he appears
He's got rhythm and a PhD.
Well I know we can make things work
He's got good fam'ly sense.
His mothers was a frog from Philadelphia
His daddy an enchanted prince.
The neighbors are against it and it's clear to me
And it's prob'ly clear to you
They think value on their property will go right down
If the family next door is blue..
Well I'm in love with a big blue frog
A big blue frog loves me
I've got it tattooed on my chest
It say P.H.R.O.G. (It's frog to me)
And now for our story.
"Do we really have to wear this?" Lieutenant (j.g.) Timothy O'Neill
waving his ruffled sleeve in Lieutenant Lonnie Henderson's face.
"What's wrong with it, Tim?" Lonnie asked, putting her hands on her
pulling the tight, yet flowing, princess dress she was wearing in
interesting new directions.
Tim tugged on the bottom of the blue velvet dublet he was wearing.
this could be a bit longer, and do these tights have to be so...well,
Lonnie rolled her eyes and sighed. None of the other guys were
difficult, but if she looked more closely, she could see they agreed
Tim. "They're leggings, Tim, they're supposed to be like that, and
great legs, what are you complaining about?"
"Lonnie!" Tim gasped, blushing.
"Tim, grow up. This is for a good cause. The children's hospital is
counting on us! This is our dress rehearsal, and if you don't shut
deal with this, I really will have you turned into a frog!"
"I'd like to see you try!"
Suddenly the ship lurched, knocking everyone off their feet. Tim
and with a crack and splash, felt water enclose his head as the world
dark. A moment later he opened his eyes and found water all around
could hear the sound of...crying? A girl crying? It was coming
above him, so he stroked easily (easily?) to the surface. Funny,
under a long time, but it wasn't bothering him, and he didn't
being this comfortable swimming.
His head broke the surface. He was surprised to find himself in a
surrounded by a low wall. A girl sat on the wall who looked
like Lonnie Henderson in her princess costume. She was the one
"Lonnie?" he asked, his voice coming out in an odd croak. "Lonnie,
Tim. What's wrong?"
The young woman looked up, but didn't respond. She didn't seem to
recognize him, and she was still in her costume. There was something
strange. He got the eerie feeling that they weren't in Kansas
"Are you addressing me?"
"Uh, yeah. You see anyone else around?" Tim responded.
"That is how you address a princess of this realm?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"You should, for I am Princess Eleanor of Bridger Kingdom. This is
"O...kay." Tim climbed out of the pond and went to sit next to
For some reason he found it more comfortable on his haunches.
Definitely not Kansas. Definitely not SeaQuest. "Okay, then,
Lonnie...the Princess...finally looked at him. "Oh, it's you. What
"Maybe I can help."
"What can you do? I lost my golden ball deep in the well. No one
reach it now."
"That's why you're crying?"
"It was my favorite."
"Well, then, be quiet and stop crying." Tim cleared his throat,
how he'd gotten such a nasty frog in it so quickly. "I can help you."
"Can you? I'll give you whatever you want as your reward, dear
Frog? Huh? What? Tim stood, pulling himself to his full height.
didn't feel odd. He still felt tall. He looked down at his
Flippers? He went over to the wall and looked into the still waters.
face which looked back at him was a large, blue bullfrog with round,
rim glasses. He pulled back and looked again. The frog head moved
him. He reached up to touch his face. Blue webbed fingers. What
was going on? Lonnie seemed unconcerned. "She did it. She actually
managed to turn me into a frog."
Lonnie...Eleanor was still talking. "Dear Frog, if you'll get back
favorite gold ball, I'll give you my clothes, my pearls, and even
crown I'm wearing."
Tim snorted, "Like I could use any of that stuff."
"Then what do you want as a reward?"
"I just want to be your friend. You know, hang out, have dinner.
could put me up for a couple of nights. I'm not real big on water
Bothers my back."
"Oh, yes!" Eleanor exclaimed. "I promise you all of that if you
back my ball."
Tim launched himself off the wall and dove deep into the pond.
it was probably more a huge well than pond. Fortunately, as he frog
powerfully (it really was a good stroke) to the bottom, he couldn't
princess' next remark.
"Stupid frog. As if he could be friends with someone...some
He emerged a moment later, with the ball. He held it out
the princess. She snatched it away eagerly.
"Oh, thank you!" she said, jumping up and running away.
Tim hauled himself out of the pond and tried to follow, but his
would let him. "Wait!" he called out. "Lon...Eleanor! Princess!
me! We had a deal! I can't keep up!" The princess hurried on
stopping. Tim gave up the chase. "Okay, now I know why frogs hop.
figure this out. I'm a smart guy. I have degrees. How hard can it
Besides, how hard should it be to find her? How many castles can
It took longer than he thought. Hopping was definitely an athletic
he'd never mastered before. And who could have thought there's be
castles in the immediate area? It was a very tired Tim Frog who
the fourth castle at dinner time the following day.
The entire court of Bridger dined with the good King Nathan, and his
second wife, Queen Wendy. Eleanor sat next to them, laughing and
with the king's most trusted military advisors: Generals Jim Brody and
Jonathan Ford. She ate and laughed gaily at the antics of the court
Piccolo, and winked outrageously at one of the court lords, Baron
Until the court heard a loud knocking on the door.
"Princess Eleanor! Open the door for me!" Tim called out, finally
the hang of court protocol after three abortive attempts.
A murmur came from those assembled. Eleanor rose slowly, confused.
forgotten all about her promise to the frog, until she opened the
saw Tim standing there. In a full fit of fear, she slammed the door
face and hurried back to her seat, trying to pretend nothing
entire court stared at her.
"Eleanor, my child," King Nathan said gently. "What frightens you?
there a giant outside? If so, say the word and Brody and Ford will
Brody and Ford rattled their swords in their scabbards, to the
the rest of the court.
"No," Eleanor said in a small voice. "It's not a giant. Not
The crowd murmured in surprise and there was some laughter. What
frightening about a frog? King Nathan asked as much. Eleanor held
"You don't understand. It's a really, big, blue frog."
"How big can he be?" Brody scoffed. "He's a frog!"
"You didn't see him! He wears...wears glasses, and he's...he's over
Ford laughed. "Yeah right. How much over?"
"Three, four inches?"
Brody and Ford looked at each other and laughed. The rest of the
laughed also. Ford looked at Eleanor. "You're trying to tell me the
out there acting like the man you love is really a big, blue frog who
glasses, and he's six foot three? Yeah, right."
"I'm telling you the truth!" Eleanor insisted.
"Why is this...frog...here for you?" King Nathan asked his daughter.
Big brown eyes filled with tears as she told her story before the
She was heartbroken. "I didn't think he could leave his water, but
outside and wants to come in."
Tim tapped his foot, which made a cool slapping sound on the paving
of the steps. They were keeping him waiting. He could hear the
of the people inside, but not the words themselves. He crossed his
watched his flipper tap. A brief thought flashed through his mind
the correlation between foot size and virility. Maybe this frog thing
wasn't so bad after all. After this train of thought ran its course,
realized how long he'd been standing there. He knocked again and
"Lovely daughter of the king,
Open up the door for me,
Don't you know what yesterday,
You said to me down by the well?
Lovely daughter of the king,
Open up the door for me."
Okay, so it was bad poetry, but it had been a long couple of days.
Inside, Eleanor pleaded silently with her eyes to the king.
Nathan was an honorable man. He couldn't let his own daughter welsh
promise or get away with such mean behavior. He told her sternly,
have promised, you must keep. Go and let the frog in."
Eleanor dragged herself to the door. She opened it slowly and let
in. He half expected the gasps, but he wasn't sure what to make of
comment. "He's not six foot three!"
Eleanor slowly went back to her seat. Tim followed her to the
spot was hastily made for him, but no one brought him a place
Taking that as much in stride as being a frog and seeing his
together in this bizarre setting, he shrugged.
"Hope you don't mind, but I'm starved. Can we share?"
Eleanor was about to refuse, but caught the king's stern look. She
grudgingly pushed her plate between them. Tim didn't care he was
with his fingers or that people were staring. There was no fork, nor
he know exactly how to hold it, and the small box of chocolate covered
grasshoppers he got from the little kid two castles back had long
"You gonna eat that?" he asked, snagging a morsel from Eleanor's
the plate. He finally noticed she wasn't eating. "You're not
"I've lost my appetite."
"Hmm." Tim went back to his meal.
When all had finished eating their fill, Tim found he couldn't fight
the yawns. He was tired from his trials and travels. Kermit had it
when he said it wasn't easy being green. It was harder being blue.
mention being blue with very tired and sore flippers. All he wanted
was curl up in a soft bed and go to sleep. He mentioned this to the
"I don't know where you could possibly sleep. The castle is all
It's tournament season, you know."
"Maybe your father would let me share your room. It shouldn't be
unseemly. After all, I am a gentleman...ly frog. And trust me, all
to do is sleep."
"The princess would be honored to give you her room and bed. She
it an easier task to find someone else to share a room with."
"But, Father!" Eleanor squealed. "I can't let a cold, slimy frog
beautiful, clean bed!"
"Hey! Who are you calling cold, Princess?" Tim retorted. "And I
help a touch of slime, after all. I'm apparently an amphibian now.
with the territory. You don't have to be so rude about it. What did
Eleanor turned pleading eyes on the King. "Father! Please! Don't
"You shouldn't despise someone who has helped you in time of need!"
king said angrily, appalled his own daughter could treat another
frog...this way. "This is not how your mother and I raised you! You
give this young ma..frog your room."
"Oh, all right, come on."
Eleanor pouted and flounced her way out of the room. Tim followed
the tower. Night had fallen, and the moonlight sparkled on the moat
Tim looked out the window trying not to think about the strange turn
events. Something flashed in the water. Tim thought it looked
"Does something live in your moat, Princess?"
"All good castles have moat fish," Eleanor responded. "Ours is
breathes air like us and talks, but he's still a fish."
"Dolphin," Tim muttered. But it figured, he'd seen all his SeaQuest
friends here except Lucas. He was sure the young man would show up
eventually. Right now, he didn't care. He was tired and wanted to
sleep. He'd sort it all out tomorrow.
He headed for the bed, but Eleanor moved to stop him. He was getting
really irritated with this brat with Lonnie's face. "This is getting
old, real fast. Now leave me alone, or I'll tell Daddy."
Eleanor let out a cry of pure rage. She threw herself at Tim and
with all her might. Normally, he would've been able to stand up
such a pathetic attack. Of course, Lonnie would've given it a much
try, and he'd never had to deal with flippers before. His center of
was shot all to...his thoughts were interrupted by the loud smack of
head hitting the stone wall. It rang his bell hard. He was trying
it off when he heard her say, "Now I'll leave you alone."
"Oh, you really didn't want to do that," Tim muttered, blinking to
himself of the blackness creeping around the edge of his vision. His
flippers suddenly wouldn't hold him up any more, and he slid down the
Something felt really odd. When he settled on the found he could
fuzziness if he focused on the toes of his shoes. Shoes? Shoes!
In those crazy tights! He held up his hands and wiggled his fingers.
fingers! And even the ruffled edges of that stupid poet's shirt
to him now.
Tim jumped to his feet, glad to see the blue velvet doublet. He
Eleanor's giant mirror. He was never so happy to see his own face
He turned excited to Eleanor. To thank her, he supposed, and was
to she her cowering in the chair in the corner. He dropped to her
front of her.
"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."
"Wha...wha...what did I do?"
"I'm not exactly sure, but I'm not a frog anymore!" Tim crowed.
Eleanor looked into his soft brown eyes. Her heart melted toward
had a kind face, now that it wasn't blue and bug-eyed and
reached out to him. "I'm sorry for how I treated you."
Before Tim could respond, there was a pounding on the door. Tim
before the king and his generals could force it. They entered, swords
drawn, ready for an attack. Eleanor jumped to her feet in surprise
alarm. "No!" she cried, putting her own body between her father and
"Eleanor? Are you all right?" King Nathan demanded. "Who is this
"Would you believe he's the frog?" she asked skeptically.
"Sad, but true. I was the frog."
"What kind of enchantment is this?" Ford demanded.
"I'm still a bit fuzzy on details. Actually, a lot fuzzy on the
Tim answered. "But I think there was a witch involved." Well,
always a witch involved in these things?
"We have had some problems with witches moving into the
Brody admitted. "We've been meaning to have a talk with them."
It was too much for the king. "We'll deal with this in the morning
good night's sleep."
Tim was awakened early the next morning by the clatter of horses'
the courtyard and by the feeling someone was watching him. He opened
eyes to see Eleanor staring at him. It was a bit freaky. "Good
"I don't even know your name. I should you know, since we're going
That woke Tim up better than a triple espresso. "Excuse me?
Eleanor looked at him puzzledly. "Of course. Once the princess
witch's spell on her Prince Charming, they get married. Only True
break a spell like that."
"I...I see? You think I'm your Prince Charming?"
Suddenly Lucas burst into the room and fell to his knees before him.
Majesty! The spell's been broken!"
Nathan, Ford, and Brody burst into the room right behind Lucas.
this! This person says he's your servant."
"I am! I am the loyal servant of King Timothy of Neill! I was sent
bring him home when the spell was broken. He and his bride."
Why did everyone assume he was getting married to this chick? Tim
shout. He looked at Eleanor. "You see, I told you I wasn't a Prince
"No, you're a king."
King? Now he was a king? This was getting weird. Finally, though,
getting a break. Things were looking up, especially Lucas, who was
his knees. "Lucas?"
The young man looked up. "Yes, sire? Please don't be angry. I've
following your progress, but I lost you, and I only had the eight
powered carriage. I told the livery I needed the twelve, but they
let me use it."
Tim let it go, knowing no one else would know catch the pun. "It's
right. You're here now. Please get up."
"Thank you, sire." Lucas got to his feet and looked around. "Will
wedding be soon? The kingdom has missed having its king."
"But of course!" King Nathan exclaimed. "The wedding will be this
Tim wasn't sure what to make of the sudden celebration erupting
Even Eleanor was throwing her arms around his neck and planting
him. Things were moving way too fast for him. Even faster when he
himself stuffed into a more elaborate doublet and tights, married and
the castle before lunch.
On the way home, or so he was told, Eleanor snuggled closer to him
carriage. Lucas was being unobtrusive behind them. "Do you think
the land of Neill?"
Tim assured her as much as he could, considering he knew nothing of
land of Neill. Suddenly several loud popping sounds surprised him.
hadn't known better, he would've thought it was gun fire. The
lurched. Tim turned to Lucas. "Is there something wrong?"
Lucas was quick to reassure them:
"No, my lord, the carriage it's not,
But the bands surrounding my heart,
That suffered such great pain,
When you were sitting in the well,
When you were a frog."
Tim smiled at Lucas. "Then continue." The carriage moved on. It's
lulled Tim into drowsiness. He couldn't keep his eyes open. He let
close just for a moment.
"Tim?" a voice asked gently. "Tim, wake up."
Tim opened his eyes once more. Eleanor looked down into his face,
in her eyes. "What's wrong, my princess?"
"Yeah, princess. That's me, Princess Lonnie," Lonnie said, shifting
weight. "Come on, you're still out of it, but try to sit up."
"Uh, yeah, come on, can you sit up?"
Tim was suddenly aware of being cold, wet, and lying on the Sea Deck
SeaQuest. He sat up slowly, supported by Ford and Brody. "What
"The ship impacted with an ancient World War II sea mine. Some how
survived all these years," Ford explained. "You got knocked into the
Pool and must've hit your head. You've been out about five minutes."
Tim gingerly felt his head and found the tender lump. "Yeah, there
Well, that explains that. Must've been a dream. You all were in it."
His friends started backing off, giving him room. Ortiz grinned.
we've seen the movie, Tim."
"That's what you think. This one was a doozy. I was a six foot
"Yeah, right, O'Neill," Brody scoffed. "And you got married, and
great swimmers for kids."
"I'm not kidding."
"Go get checked out in Med Bay," Ford ordered. `You're really had
bell rung but good, haven't you?"
"You don't believe me?" Tim asked, following them out of Sea Deck.
do you want me to do, get it tattooed on my chest? I'm telling ya..."
"Go on, Tim, or none of us will get to live happily ever after."