Seamus on You

by Rhonda Eudaly (

Word Count: 1472

Fandoms: Andromeda/Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Rating: PG - a little violence, gambling, drinking, etc.

Pairings: Not this time

Warnings: None

Spoilers: General knowledge preferred, but not necessary. ST:DS9 is done, Andromeda is new

Archives: BTR

Disclaimers: They ain't mine. I don't have anything. Don't sue me.

Seamus Harper sat in the holding cell, head in his hands, trying to avoid touching the purpling bruise on his cheek. He knew how he got there, he just couldn't believe it, and he knew Dylan Hunt wasn't going to believe him. Bekka might, but Bekka Valentine couldn't bail him out of this one. He couldn't even talk to Romie about it. His neural implant didn't work with this technology. From what little he'd seen, it was pretty patched together, kind of like the Maru. He'd give anything to be on the Maru again.

"Thank you, Captain, Constable. Do you mind if I talk to him?"

"Go right ahead."

The familiar voice brought Harper's head up. Captain Dylan Hunt strode into the area outside his cell, flanked by a glowering, intimidating man in a red and black uniform and the odd, even-faced man in tan. Dylan looked even more like one of the ancient Greek gods of legend in his Commonwealth black leathers. Then Harper saw Dylan's face, and he knew the wrath of the gods was about to descend on him.

"Harper, I always thought you'd end up like this. Captain Sisko and Constable Odo were kind enough to let me talk to you. Now, all I want to know," Dylan said very, very calmly, in very measured tones. Harper cringed. "Is what happened. Exactly."

"Well, you see, Dylan, it's like this..."

# # #

The Andromeda Ascendant had blundered into Federation space quite by accident. In an exciting few minutes, they managed to keep the deep space station from firing on them. Then, with the help of the station's Science Officer, Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax, they'd not only docked, but decided on a preliminary explanation. Andromeda's Slipstream drive had somehow resonated frequencies with the Bajoran wormhole and gotten sucked into the Alpha Quadrant.

While Dylan and Romie, the ship's Artificial Intelligence persona, were working with Dax and Chief Miles O'Brien and a maintenance crew, the rest of the crew explored the station. Harper and Trance spent most of their time on the Promenade checking out the local color, and for once, purple-hued Trance Gemini wasn't one of the sites.

"Hey, Trance, check it out!" Harper said, dragging his shipmate toward Quark's bar and the familiar sounds of gambling. "Let's go have some fun."

Trance was enjoying the sites of the Promenade and wasn't in the mood for a bar. She looked at the bar door with hesitation and uncertainty. She pulled against Harpers tug. "Gee, Harper, I don't know... Dylan wouldn't like it if we get into trouble."

"What trouble?" Harper demanded. "I know what I'm doing."

"Those are famous last words, Harper," Trance warned him. "Besides, I want to do some more shopping. There are things here we won't be able to get anywhere else. Herbs, medicines..."

"Drinks. Come on, Trance, please? Just for a little while?" Harper pleaded. "You come with me in there, and I'll go to every flower store on this station with you."

Against her better judgement, Trance relented and let Harper drag her into Quark's.

# # #

Quark's Ferengi instincts for turning a buck rose up and tapped him on the shoulder the moment Harper and Trance walked in. He came out from behind the bar with a particularly toothy grin. He knew who they were and was ready for some fresh blood in the bar - his regulars were getting a bit boring. Besides, Trance looked like a woman who could give good umluks. His ear ridges tingled with the mere thought of it.

Within moments, Trance was ensconced at the bar, being plied with compliments and drinks from all corners. Harper was learning the hard way that Dabo wasn't as easy a game as it looked. Of course it didn't help that the Dabo girl running the table was giving him the "come hither" looks he'd always read about but had never received. And that's when it all went downhill, very quickly. The men at the bar got a little too frisky for Trance's taste at just the moment when Harper's luck was turning for the worst.

"Come on, Harper," Trance hissed, tugging on his sleeve. "We've been here long enough. Let's go."

"Five more minutes, Trance," Harper told her, not even looking at her. "I can get the money back."

"You're losing? Harper, Dylan's really not going to like this. Come on, let's go."

A green skinned, drunken alien grabbed her arm and whirled her around. "If he doesn't want you, I'll take you. How much you charge?"

"I'm not that kind of girl!" Trance squealed, but the harder she tried to pull her arm away, the tighter the man's grip became.

"At one time or another, sweetheart, everyone's that kind of girl," he said with a leer. "Come on, honey, it'll be fun."

"Harper!" Trance cried.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Harper said with a distracted wave.

"Harper! Help me!"

The sound of terror finally penetrated Harper's fog. He looked up to see Trance struggling with the alien. "Hey! Leave her alone!"

The alien sneered at him. "What are you going to do about it, pipsqueak?"

The bar fell into an anticipatory hush as the three principals stared at each other. Quark hurried over. "Now, now, now, let's not have any trouble here." But everyone knew it was a pointless warning.

The first move was made by the alien. He pushed Trance away and lunged at Harper. Harper, for his part, ducked under the lunge and grabbed something off a table and flung it. A Flaming Volcano spattered patrons and victim alike, and unlike most exotic drinks, this one was actually flaming. That got people moving and bumping into each other creating a free for all. Food as well as fists were flying.

Harper was taking the brunt or it all despite the chaos. The alien had him in some kind of hold he couldn't break. Trance had jumped on the alien's back and was trying to help. The alien acted as if she wasn't even there.

"Why not try picking on someone better able to defend himself?" a familiar voice declaimed dispassionately, much to the relief of a soon to be very battered Harper. Tir Anasazi came through the fray like an avenging angel and with one well timed blow, took out the alien.

Trance slid off the alien's back before he could hit the floor. Harper fell to his knees, trying to get his breath. When he looked up, he wasn't looking at Tir, he was face to face with Odo, Security Chief on the station and a group of men, all stopping the burgeoning brawl. Quark was with him.

"That's him, Constable. He started all of this."

"Come along with me," Odo said, yanking Harper to his feet.

"And the girl, too."

Harper didn't even turn to look. He knew Trance was being brought along with him.

# # #

"And that's what happened, Dylan," Harper ended the story. "Honest. I was just trying to protect Trance. If I'd paid attention before, maybe none of this would've happened."

Dylan didn't know how to answer that. He looked at Sisko. "Does the bartender want to press charges?"

"Quark always wants to press charges, unless they're against himself," Odo commented drily. "There are a number of witness that confirm this version of the story, and we've had the other man under discreet surveillance for some time."

"Then," Sisko said, studying Harper intensely, "I believe we can convince Quark to cooperate. You're going to be leaving soon anyway, aren't you?"

Dylan allowed himself a brief grin. "Yes, we believe we've found our way home. We'll be going just as soon as I have all my people."

"Then take him with our blessing," Sisko said, turning and leaving.

Odo released the force field securing the holding cell and turned to Dylan. "I'll just go take care of the release forms."

"Thank you, Constable."

Harper cautiously stepped out of the cell, looking for Dylan's reaction. Dylan drew back in a mock punch then pulled Harper into a friendly headlock. "If you ever...ever pull a stupid stunt like this, you can walk home."

"But wouldn't that be in space?"

"You got it."


"Good. Let's go. For some strange reason, Romie's actually worried about you."

"Really?" Things were looking up. "How's Trance?"

"I was wondering when you were going to ask about her," Dylan replied with a significant look. "She's fine. She took less damage than you did. She's waiting to take care of those bruises for you."

"That's what I'm afraid of. But you know something?"


"There's no place like home."

"You got that right."

The two men left the holding cell and headed back to the Andromeda and back to their quest to reestablish the Commonwealth.