The Big Blue Frog King

by Rhonda Eudaly (reudaly@excite.com)

Disclaimers: This is a combination of "The Frog King" by the Brothers Grimm and "I'm in Love with a Big Blue Frog" by Leslie Braunstein, recorded by Peter Paul & Mary. All other disclaimers apply. I make no money off of this, it's only for fun. There's enough seriousness in many of my other stories, I wanted to do a bit of goofiness with this one. So forgive all the strange little liberties.

Fandom: SeaQuest - 2nd Season

Rating: PG (I don' t do slash, and I write clean)

Archives: TedTalk, The Bookcase, all others, check first 

I'm In Love With A Big Blue Frog
(Leslie Braunstein/Peter, Paul, and Mary)

I'm in love with a big blue frog,
A big blue frog love me
It's not as bad as it appears
He wears glasses and he's six foot three

Well I'm not worried about our kids,
I know they'll turn out neat.
They'll be great lookin' `cause they'll have my face,
Great swimmers `cause they'll have his feet.

Well I'm in love with a big blue frog,
A big blue frog loves me.
He's not as bad as he appears
He's got rhythm and a PhD.

Well I know we can make things work
He's got good fam'ly sense.
His mothers was a frog from Philadelphia
His daddy an enchanted prince.

The neighbors are against it and it's clear to me
And it's prob'ly clear to you
They think value on their property will go right down
If the family next door is blue..

Well I'm in love with a big blue frog
A big blue frog loves me
I've got it tattooed on my chest
It say P.H.R.O.G. (It's frog to me)
P.H.R.O.G.


And now for our story.



"Do we really have to wear this?" Lieutenant (j.g.) Timothy O'Neill asked, waving his ruffled sleeve in Lieutenant Lonnie Henderson's face.

"What's wrong with it, Tim?" Lonnie asked, putting her hands on her hips, pulling the tight, yet flowing, princess dress she was wearing in interesting new directions.

Tim tugged on the bottom of the blue velvet dublet he was wearing. "Well, this could be a bit longer, and do these tights have to be so...well, tight?"

Lonnie rolled her eyes and sighed. None of the other guys were being this difficult, but if she looked more closely, she could see they agreed with Tim. "They're leggings, Tim, they're supposed to be like that, and you have great legs, what are you complaining about?"

"Lonnie!" Tim gasped, blushing.

"Tim, grow up. This is for a good cause. The children's hospital is counting on us! This is our dress rehearsal, and if you don't shut up and deal with this, I really will have you turned into a frog!"

"I'd like to see you try!"

Suddenly the ship lurched, knocking everyone off their feet. Tim stumbled, and with a crack and splash, felt water enclose his head as the world went dark. A moment later he opened his eyes and found water all around him. He could hear the sound of...crying? A girl crying? It was coming from above him, so he stroked easily (easily?) to the surface. Funny, he'd been under a long time, but it wasn't bothering him, and he didn't remember ever being this comfortable swimming.

His head broke the surface. He was surprised to find himself in a pond surrounded by a low wall. A girl sat on the wall who looked suspiciously like Lonnie Henderson in her princess costume. She was the one crying. "Lonnie?" he asked, his voice coming out in an odd croak. "Lonnie, it's me, Tim. What's wrong?"

The young woman looked up, but didn't respond. She didn't seem to recognize him, and she was still in her costume. There was something strange. He got the eerie feeling that they weren't in Kansas anymore, Toto.

"Uh, Lonnie?"

"Are you addressing me?"

"Uh, yeah. You see anyone else around?" Tim responded.

"That is how you address a princess of this realm?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You should, for I am Princess Eleanor of Bridger Kingdom. This is my father's pond."

"O...kay." Tim climbed out of the pond and went to sit next to Lonnie. For some reason he found it more comfortable on his haunches. Whatever. Definitely not Kansas. Definitely not SeaQuest. "Okay, then, Princess Lon...Eleanor?"

Lonnie...the Princess...finally looked at him. "Oh, it's you. What do you care?"

"Maybe I can help."

"What can you do? I lost my golden ball deep in the well. No one can reach it now."

"That's why you're crying?"

"It was my favorite."

"Well, then, be quiet and stop crying." Tim cleared his throat, wondering how he'd gotten such a nasty frog in it so quickly. "I can help you."

"Can you? I'll give you whatever you want as your reward, dear frog!"

Frog? Huh? What? Tim stood, pulling himself to his full height. That didn't feel odd. He still felt tall. He looked down at his fee...flippers. Flippers? He went over to the wall and looked into the still waters. The face which looked back at him was a large, blue bullfrog with round, wire rim glasses. He pulled back and looked again. The frog head moved with him. He reached up to touch his face. Blue webbed fingers. What the heck was going on? Lonnie seemed unconcerned. "She did it. She actually managed to turn me into a frog."

Lonnie...Eleanor was still talking. "Dear Frog, if you'll get back my favorite gold ball, I'll give you my clothes, my pearls, and even this gold crown I'm wearing."

Tim snorted, "Like I could use any of that stuff."

"Then what do you want as a reward?"

"I just want to be your friend. You know, hang out, have dinner. You could put me up for a couple of nights. I'm not real big on water beds. Bothers my back."

"Oh, yes!" Eleanor exclaimed. "I promise you all of that if you bring back my ball."

"Done."

Tim launched himself off the wall and dove deep into the pond. Actually, it was probably more a huge well than pond. Fortunately, as he frog kicked powerfully (it really was a good stroke) to the bottom, he couldn't hear the princess' next remark.

"Stupid frog. As if he could be friends with someone...some human...like me."

He emerged a moment later, with the ball. He held it out triumphantly to the princess. She snatched it away eagerly.

"Oh, thank you!" she said, jumping up and running away.

Tim hauled himself out of the pond and tried to follow, but his flippers would let him. "Wait!" he called out. "Lon...Eleanor! Princess! Wait for me! We had a deal! I can't keep up!" The princess hurried on without stopping. Tim gave up the chase. "Okay, now I know why frogs hop. I can figure this out. I'm a smart guy. I have degrees. How hard can it be? Besides, how hard should it be to find her? How many castles can there be?"

It took longer than he thought. Hopping was definitely an athletic art he'd never mastered before. And who could have thought there's be four castles in the immediate area? It was a very tired Tim Frog who approached the fourth castle at dinner time the following day.

The entire court of Bridger dined with the good King Nathan, and his young, second wife, Queen Wendy. Eleanor sat next to them, laughing and flirting with the king's most trusted military advisors: Generals Jim Brody and Jonathan Ford. She ate and laughed gaily at the antics of the court jester, Piccolo, and winked outrageously at one of the court lords, Baron Ortiz. Until the court heard a loud knocking on the door.

"Princess Eleanor! Open the door for me!" Tim called out, finally getting the hang of court protocol after three abortive attempts.

A murmur came from those assembled. Eleanor rose slowly, confused. She'd forgotten all about her promise to the frog, until she opened the door and saw Tim standing there. In a full fit of fear, she slammed the door in his face and hurried back to her seat, trying to pretend nothing happened. The entire court stared at her.

"Eleanor, my child," King Nathan said gently. "What frightens you? Is there a giant outside? If so, say the word and Brody and Ford will kill it for you!"

Brody and Ford rattled their swords in their scabbards, to the delight of the rest of the court.

"No," Eleanor said in a small voice. "It's not a giant. Not really. It's a frog."

The crowd murmured in surprise and there was some laughter. What was so frightening about a frog? King Nathan asked as much. Eleanor held her ground.

"You don't understand. It's a really, big, blue frog."

"How big can he be?" Brody scoffed. "He's a frog!"

"You didn't see him! He wears...wears glasses, and he's...he's over six feet tall!"

Ford laughed. "Yeah right. How much over?"

"Three, four inches?"

Brody and Ford looked at each other and laughed. The rest of the court laughed also. Ford looked at Eleanor. "You're trying to tell me the thing out there acting like the man you love is really a big, blue frog who wears glasses, and he's six foot three? Yeah, right."

"I'm telling you the truth!" Eleanor insisted.

"Why is this...frog...here for you?" King Nathan asked his daughter.

Big brown eyes filled with tears as she told her story before the court. She was heartbroken. "I didn't think he could leave his water, but now he's outside and wants to come in."

Tim tapped his foot, which made a cool slapping sound on the paving stones of the steps. They were keeping him waiting. He could hear the reactions of the people inside, but not the words themselves. He crossed his arms and watched his flipper tap. A brief thought flashed through his mind regarding the correlation between foot size and virility. Maybe this frog thing wasn't so bad after all. After this train of thought ran its course, Tim realized how long he'd been standing there. He knocked again and this time said:

"Lovely daughter of the king,
Open up the door for me,
Don't you know what yesterday,
You said to me down by the well?
Lovely daughter of the king,
Open up the door for me."

Okay, so it was bad poetry, but it had been a long couple of days.

Inside, Eleanor pleaded silently with her eyes to the king. However, King Nathan was an honorable man. He couldn't let his own daughter welsh on a promise or get away with such mean behavior. He told her sternly, "What you have promised, you must keep. Go and let the frog in."

Eleanor dragged herself to the door. She opened it slowly and let Tim come in. He half expected the gasps, but he wasn't sure what to make of Brody's comment. "He's not six foot three!"

Eleanor slowly went back to her seat. Tim followed her to the table. A spot was hastily made for him, but no one brought him a place setting. Taking that as much in stride as being a frog and seeing his shipmates all together in this bizarre setting, he shrugged.

"Hope you don't mind, but I'm starved. Can we share?"

Eleanor was about to refuse, but caught the king's stern look. She very grudgingly pushed her plate between them. Tim didn't care he was eating with his fingers or that people were staring. There was no fork, nor would he know exactly how to hold it, and the small box of chocolate covered grasshoppers he got from the little kid two castles back had long since worn off.

"You gonna eat that?" he asked, snagging a morsel from Eleanor's side of the plate. He finally noticed she wasn't eating. "You're not eating."

"I've lost my appetite."

"Hmm." Tim went back to his meal.

When all had finished eating their fill, Tim found he couldn't fight back the yawns. He was tired from his trials and travels. Kermit had it right when he said it wasn't easy being green. It was harder being blue. Not to mention being blue with very tired and sore flippers. All he wanted to do was curl up in a soft bed and go to sleep. He mentioned this to the princess.

"I don't know where you could possibly sleep. The castle is all full up. It's tournament season, you know."

"Maybe your father would let me share your room. It shouldn't be all that unseemly. After all, I am a gentleman...ly frog. And trust me, all I want to do is sleep."

"The princess would be honored to give you her room and bed. She will find it an easier task to find someone else to share a room with."

"But, Father!" Eleanor squealed. "I can't let a cold, slimy frog into my beautiful, clean bed!"

"Hey! Who are you calling cold, Princess?" Tim retorted. "And I can't help a touch of slime, after all. I'm apparently an amphibian now. Goes with the territory. You don't have to be so rude about it. What did I do to you?"

Eleanor turned pleading eyes on the King. "Father! Please! Don't make me..."

"You shouldn't despise someone who has helped you in time of need!" the king said angrily, appalled his own daughter could treat another person...or frog...this way. "This is not how your mother and I raised you! You will give this young ma..frog your room."

"Oh, all right, come on."

Eleanor pouted and flounced her way out of the room. Tim followed her to the tower. Night had fallen, and the moonlight sparkled on the moat below. Tim looked out the window trying not to think about the strange turn of events. Something flashed in the water. Tim thought it looked familiar. "Does something live in your moat, Princess?"

"All good castles have moat fish," Eleanor responded. "Ours is Darwin. He breathes air like us and talks, but he's still a fish."

"Dolphin," Tim muttered. But it figured, he'd seen all his SeaQuest friends here except Lucas. He was sure the young man would show up eventually. Right now, he didn't care. He was tired and wanted to go to sleep. He'd sort it all out tomorrow.

He headed for the bed, but Eleanor moved to stop him. He was getting really irritated with this brat with Lonnie's face. "This is getting real old, real fast. Now leave me alone, or I'll tell Daddy."

Eleanor let out a cry of pure rage. She threw herself at Tim and shoved with all her might. Normally, he would've been able to stand up against such a pathetic attack. Of course, Lonnie would've given it a much better try, and he'd never had to deal with flippers before. His center of gravity was shot all to...his thoughts were interrupted by the loud smack of his head hitting the stone wall. It rang his bell hard. He was trying to shake it off when he heard her say, "Now I'll leave you alone."

"Oh, you really didn't want to do that," Tim muttered, blinking to rid himself of the blackness creeping around the edge of his vision. His flippers suddenly wouldn't hold him up any more, and he slid down the wall. Something felt really odd. When he settled on the found he could stop the fuzziness if he focused on the toes of his shoes. Shoes? Shoes! And legs! In those crazy tights! He held up his hands and wiggled his fingers. Sweet fingers! And even the ruffled edges of that stupid poet's shirt looked good to him now.

Tim jumped to his feet, glad to see the blue velvet doublet. He rushed to Eleanor's giant mirror. He was never so happy to see his own face before. He turned excited to Eleanor. To thank her, he supposed, and was surprised to she her cowering in the chair in the corner. He dropped to her knees in front of her.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

"Wha...wha...what did I do?"

"I'm not exactly sure, but I'm not a frog anymore!" Tim crowed.

Eleanor looked into his soft brown eyes. Her heart melted toward him. He had a kind face, now that it wasn't blue and bug-eyed and bug-breathed. She reached out to him. "I'm sorry for how I treated you."

Before Tim could respond, there was a pounding on the door. Tim opened it before the king and his generals could force it. They entered, swords drawn, ready for an attack. Eleanor jumped to her feet in surprise and alarm. "No!" she cried, putting her own body between her father and Tim.

"Eleanor? Are you all right?" King Nathan demanded. "Who is this man?"

"Would you believe he's the frog?" she asked skeptically.

"What?"

"Sad, but true. I was the frog."

"What kind of enchantment is this?" Ford demanded.

"I'm still a bit fuzzy on details. Actually, a lot fuzzy on the details," Tim answered. "But I think there was a witch involved." Well, wasn't there always a witch involved in these things?

"We have had some problems with witches moving into the neighborhood," Brody admitted. "We've been meaning to have a talk with them."

It was too much for the king. "We'll deal with this in the morning after a good night's sleep."

Tim was awakened early the next morning by the clatter of horses' hooves in the courtyard and by the feeling someone was watching him. He opened his eyes to see Eleanor staring at him. It was a bit freaky. "Good morning?"

"I don't even know your name. I should you know, since we're going to be married today."

That woke Tim up better than a triple espresso. "Excuse me? Married? What?"

Eleanor looked at him puzzledly. "Of course. Once the princess breaks a witch's spell on her Prince Charming, they get married. Only True Love can break a spell like that."

"I...I see? You think I'm your Prince Charming?"

"Aren't you?"

"No."

"No?"

Suddenly Lucas burst into the room and fell to his knees before him. "Your Majesty! The spell's been broken!"

"Yeah?"

Nathan, Ford, and Brody burst into the room right behind Lucas. "What is this! This person says he's your servant."

"Lucas?"

"I am! I am the loyal servant of King Timothy of Neill! I was sent to bring him home when the spell was broken. He and his bride."

Why did everyone assume he was getting married to this chick? Tim wanted to shout. He looked at Eleanor. "You see, I told you I wasn't a Prince Charming."

"No, you're a king."

King? Now he was a king? This was getting weird. Finally, though, he was getting a break. Things were looking up, especially Lucas, who was still on his knees. "Lucas?"

The young man looked up. "Yes, sire? Please don't be angry. I've been following your progress, but I lost you, and I only had the eight horse powered carriage. I told the livery I needed the twelve, but they wouldn't let me use it."

Tim let it go, knowing no one else would know catch the pun. "It's all right. You're here now. Please get up."

"Thank you, sire." Lucas got to his feet and looked around. "Will the wedding be soon? The kingdom has missed having its king."

"Beg pardon?"

"But of course!" King Nathan exclaimed. "The wedding will be this afternoon."

Tim wasn't sure what to make of the sudden celebration erupting about him. Even Eleanor was throwing her arms around his neck and planting kisses on him. Things were moving way too fast for him. Even faster when he found himself stuffed into a more elaborate doublet and tights, married and out of the castle before lunch.

On the way home, or so he was told, Eleanor snuggled closer to him in the carriage. Lucas was being unobtrusive behind them. "Do you think I'll like the land of Neill?"

Tim assured her as much as he could, considering he knew nothing of the land of Neill. Suddenly several loud popping sounds surprised him. If he hadn't known better, he would've thought it was gun fire. The carriage lurched. Tim turned to Lucas. "Is there something wrong?"

Lucas was quick to reassure them:

"No, my lord, the carriage it's not,
But the bands surrounding my heart,
That suffered such great pain,
When you were sitting in the well,
When you were a frog."

Tim smiled at Lucas. "Then continue." The carriage moved on. It's sway lulled Tim into drowsiness. He couldn't keep his eyes open. He let them close just for a moment.

"Tim?" a voice asked gently. "Tim, wake up."

Tim opened his eyes once more. Eleanor looked down into his face, concern in her eyes. "What's wrong, my princess?"

"Yeah, princess. That's me, Princess Lonnie," Lonnie said, shifting her weight. "Come on, you're still out of it, but try to sit up."

"Lonnie?"

"Uh, yeah, come on, can you sit up?"

Tim was suddenly aware of being cold, wet, and lying on the Sea Deck on SeaQuest. He sat up slowly, supported by Ford and Brody. "What happened?"

"The ship impacted with an ancient World War II sea mine. Some how it survived all these years," Ford explained. "You got knocked into the Moon Pool and must've hit your head. You've been out about five minutes."

Tim gingerly felt his head and found the tender lump. "Yeah, there it is. Well, that explains that. Must've been a dream. You all were in it."

His friends started backing off, giving him room. Ortiz grinned. "I think we've seen the movie, Tim."

"That's what you think. This one was a doozy. I was a six foot tall blue frog."

"Yeah, right, O'Neill," Brody scoffed. "And you got married, and you had great swimmers for kids."

"I'm not kidding."

"Go get checked out in Med Bay," Ford ordered. `You're really had your bell rung but good, haven't you?"

"You don't believe me?" Tim asked, following them out of Sea Deck. "What do you want me to do, get it tattooed on my chest? I'm telling ya..."

"Go on, Tim, or none of us will get to live happily ever after."

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